Knowing the depths of an Unknowable God

A little while ago, I was driving up with a friend from San Diego to Pasadena for a conference. Near the beginning of the drive, we were talking about life, Jesus, and whatever. In the middle of the conversation she brings up something she went through the night before. She was lying in bed having frantic thoughts of wanting to go deeper with God because there was so much more of God to have. And by frantic thoughts, I mean Panic attack status. Not your run of the mill, 'That'd be nice' thoughts. More of a heavy breathing, my life is falling apart without this mentality. My first inward response was something to the effect of "Lady, you are kind of freaking me out", in a very sarcastic tone. And as life goes on, I forgot about our conversation and my friends bedtime freak-out. I am driving in my car today and God brings up this memory of my friend telling me this. But in the oh-so elegant way God does, I have a matrix moment where everything hits me in 3 seconds and all of a sudden, I can preach a message on it. I start to ask myself this question, why do I not have this attitude? I start to realize the depths of God I have never explored and this hunger groans from within me. Then the thought really hits me... "WHY DON'T ALL CHRISTIANS HAVE THIS ATTITUDE?!" The presence of God falls on me in the car in such a way I almost take out with my car your local Mammoth jogger jogging down the street. Yeah, you should have seen his face when he almost went to go meet Jesus. He gave me the hawaiian peace sign. In Ephesians 3:18-19(NKJV) we see this: 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. First off, Paul is asking God that we may be strengthened in our inner man so Christ may dwell in us so that we can comprehend first the entire volume of the love of God. And exactly what does that mean? To be able to fathom the unfathomable. Something that is in of it self the very nature of our creator. Love. To understand the thoughts, actions, emotions, and very nature of the One who created the universe. I thought to myself, why do I not seek more of this. Not simply understanding with my mind, but understanding in my heart. To have more and more of the revelation of the very heart of Christ on the cross. Having that understanding completely wreck me and consume me. Not to say that I or others haven't experienced it to some degree. But my issue was, was I settling for the finite when I serve a God of the infinite.? And in the later part of this verse, Paul connects knowing the love in fullness with having the very fullness of God within us. Now this is my thought; If the fullness of God dwelling within us is connected to knowing the love of God that surpasses knowledge, how much of God's love am I willing to search? To ask for? To understand? To experience? I feel like this is a beginning marker in my journey. A remembrance stone or altar unto the Lord. Like when Jacob raised the stone he used as a pillow and anointed it with oil as a stone of remembrance. He named that place Beth-El which literally means, "House of God". I will probably be writing on this subject a bit more as my journey unfolds as a stone of remembrance of sort. Not to simply reemphasize the importance of His presence, but rather as a challenge of How much of God do you really want? Enough to get through the day? The week? This life maybe? Or do you want the entire fullness of God? The ever expanding wells of His Spirit? The unknowable depths of His love? I too, like Paul, pray that you would "know" the love of Christ that surpasses "knowledge".